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DAILY POST: AUDIENCE OF ONE

I’m not one to be doing a daily post – daily – but this one’s different.  I’ve been wanting to write to Stan Wischnowski,  the Executive Editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer, but who am I and would he even listen?  So… to get it off my chest, I dedicate this post to Mr. Wischnowski.

Dear Sir,

I am a huge fan of Lisa Scottoline, published author and Philadelphia Inquirer Sunday columnist.  But here’s my gripe.  I don’t know what Ms. Scottoline is getting for her column, Chick Wit, which is sometimes funny, sometimes hysterical, and sometimes, well, ok, but I think I could do this.  I think I could write the same material for half the price and twice a week at that!  I mean, I have pets I could write volumes about, and a 90 year old mom that would keep readers in stitches for days on end.  Not to rival Ms. Scottoline, but I’ve also got the two ex-husband senario going for me,  and a list of ex-boyfriends whose stories I could weave into gut-busters.  So what’s the deal?  Does a person have to be famous to, ah, get famous?  Does a person have to have “experience” in order to get experience?  Kind of a catch 22 if you ask me.

Not to be redundant, but I love Lisa Scottoline.  Her  novel, Look Again, kept me on the edge of my seat and begging for more.  I even went to one of her book signings at Barnes and Noble in Cherry Hill, NJ and waited in line to get a picture of myself, with, yes, a famous author.  I have no shame when it comes to well-knowns, probably because I AM NOT ONE!  The line was ridiculous, but I got a book, a signature, and a photo of my husband, Lisa, myself, and Lisa’s now slightly famous daughter, Francesca, who sometimes writes the Inquirer column for her mom.  I guess celebrities get too busy sometimes.  I would never be too busy!  I promise!

In closing I’d like to say, I have nothing against Ms. Scottoline or her beautiful and talented daughter.  I continue to read the column.  Her books are still on my shelf, and I will never stop doing The Inquirer’s Sudoku daily while nibbling on my toast.  But, if Lisa ever gets busy to the point of  “I can’t do this anymore”,  give me a holler.  My dog, my mom, my exes, and my sense of humor are waiting.  Just sayin’.

Respectfully – to one and all mentioned in this communication,

Gemma

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27 thoughts on “DAILY POST: AUDIENCE OF ONE

  1. Love this, Gemma. I’m sure you’d find it a doddle to keep your readers in stitches every week, and yes, I also wonder how much this sort of column pays. This is such an entertaining and well written letter. Maybe you should send it to Mr. Wischnowski. You might be surprised. 😀

    • ad, you know I can’t help listening to a wise young sage. I sent it off to Mr. W. If nothing else I hope he gets a chuckle out of it. But I swear I could write that column – not to take away from Lisa at all.
      Thanks for the push, ad 😉

      • Wow! I’m so impressed, firstly that you call me young and sagacious, and secondly that you actually sent the letter. “Let’s see what transpires,” as my dear old gran always used to say. 🙂

  2. I would totally read your column, same as I read your blog. Meanwhile, if this Wischnowski guy has a Google Alert set up for mentions of his name or his paper, he already HAS your letter in his inbox!! My advice as a writer and a doer is – Start writing a weekly column, immediately. Save them up on your computer, so after he reads your letter, and calls you to ask for writing samples, you’ll have them ready to go. Let’s do this.

  3. Gemma, I absolutely love this! I’m not familiar with the author but you’ve done a great job of capturing so many images! I can just picture you taking this on, and having a great time! 🙂

  4. I’m all for you writing the column… Hear, hear! BTW, Lisa was classmates with my kids dad. They went to the same school in the Philly suburbs. 🙂 Small world.

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