No. Not “my” Jeff. This is fictional Jeff. He was created by a very talented blogger by the name of Allan. Allan wrote a response to a story prompt that you’ll find here and I would advise you to read it before you continue. I’ll wait…
OK. So after reading the story, I thought I would respond to Allan’s tale with my own version of “the other side of the story”. He very graciously told me to have at it.
Now if you’ve read the story (I told you it would be a good idea to do that first), there is Jeff (the husband) and – the way I read it – Julie, the girlfriend, and Monica, the scorned wife. I asked “my Jeff” to read Allan’s story and he agreed that the women’s roles could be switched. But I’m going with Monica as the wife. I should have asked Allan (the author).
Too many names? Are you dizzy yet? OK well, chill. Here’s Monica’s 100 word side of the story. P.S. Writing a hundred word story ain’t easy.
Trying to blend in with its rough, cold exterior, Monica pressed her back against the wall behind her. She stood watching from across the street. The wind whipped around the corner where she huddled to keep warm, but she knew it wasn’t the wretched wind that was causing the chill creeping up her spine. Earlier, she watched as Jeff made his way to the rear of the hideous building. Now, as she watched him cross the parking lot to his truck, she knew she should never have come.
Monica waited until her husband pulled away, pocketed the pistol, and headed for home.
Well? What do you think? Should I stick to doodling? OK maybe so, but it was fun. Sometimes something gets in your head and under your skin and you just have to get it off your chest. (lot of body parts here, but you get my drift.)
Thanks for coming this far. Have a good week everyone.
Great story, Gemma. I knew that you could do it!
You can doodle and you can write like this! You are very talented Gemma! I loved it and that doodle is gorgeous! 😀 ♥
Thank you, Sonel. I think I’ll stick to Zentangle. 😉
I prefer your version, Gem (I can safely say that without giving offence now that Allan has been here- wouldn’t do for both of us to go sticking the foot in the gob, would it? 🙂 ) I have no idea how one goes about hitting 100 words exact. Maybe I should try it? An interesting discipline (and boy, do I need discipline 🙂 )
And you know I love your Doodlebugs 🙂 A big hug speeding to you courtesy of the Easter bunny 🙂
P.S The link to Allan didn’t work for me but I found the post in his sidebar.
Thanks, Jo. I was trying to give a look into the other side. Not better, just ‘other ‘. 😉 Thanks for bringing the link to my attention. Fixed! and thanks for indulging me. 😍 Have off this week. Much needed. *hugs*
The link didn’t work for me either, but I found it at Allan’s site. The picture prompt didn’t load, so I found it at Rochelle’s site. I could’ve easily made up a picture in my head after reading both your stories. Words painting pictures is what writing is all about, after all. The pieces go great together and feel like they’re plucked right out of a really compelling novel which I would read TODAY if somebody would bother writing the rest of it for me!! So fun.
You crack me up, you author you. 😍 I know I’m not writing it. People are prodding Allan to continue so let’s hope he does. But thanks for trying. (Fixed the link) I didn’t include the prompt. Didn’t think it was fair since I didn’t enter the challenge.
Well, I think you can write too! The link worked perfect for me this morning. I think your doodle drawing is charming! Good Morning!
Thanks, and good afternoon. 😁 You’re the best!
Flash fiction and limited word counts are definitely a challenge. Good job ole girl.
Nice coming from an authoress. (Is that a word?) Seriously. Thanks, Janna.
You’re welcome Gemma and yes, authoress is a word, 🙂
Excellent writing, Gemma. Looks like Julie lived to flirt another day, but Jeff has had his chips. 😕 Love the doodle. A nice bit of light relief. 🙂
Thank you, ad. Light relief is good. 😉
I liked it a lot!! The 100 word challenges are hard but fun too, no? So now I’m reading Allens and yours and wondering about “Julie” – perhaps her side needs to be written next? Hmmmmmm?
Go for it! 😉
I would love to hear Julie’s side from you if you are up for it. Allan
I was thinking about it in the car on the way home, actually. 🙂 I will see how my week plays out.
I knew we could count on you, Sue. You go, girl.
I am looking forward to your story. Take your time. Ω
IDKY you don’t give the 100 word challenges more ink. You clearly enjoy it. This was a fun read.
No can do. Too much pressure. LOL
If you say so…
Great short story and I love the sketch 🙂
Reblogged this on Ohm Sweet Ohm and commented:
Gemma has a followup to my 100 word entry in the weekly Friday Fictioneers challenge. I think that she did a good job and hope that you take a moment to enjoy her story. Ω
I like what you’ve written, Gem – and keeping ro a hundred words certainly isn’t easy – good stuff! A xxx
Thank you, bud. Oh and I hate to admit it but I think it was 102 or 103 or something like that. Crazy! When I thought I was done, I had 189! I guess my writing is like my talking. Diarrhea of the spoken word Diarrhea of the written word. See. This is why I don’t do this much. 😉
Ha – this could become a serial story between you and Allan – what happens next?!
That’s up to our friend, Sue.
Here’s Julie’s side. Sue was kind enough to continue.
The plot thickens, as does Julie’s waist. 😄
So does mine. Oh no no no. Just old age! 😉
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You sure whipped up a boatload of suspense in your 100 (or 189, or whatever) words!
Well done, Gemma. And the doodle, of course, is super.
Thanks, Judith. It was all fun. 😉
A great continuation. 🙂 I wonder what use that pistol will be put to… And I love your doodle!
Thank you, re the doodle and we may never know about the pistol. 😉
Maybe I just watch too much of the news. 😫
Keep going. I want to know what she does with the pistol. Is it loaded?
But of course!
love the doodling….love the writing!!
Thanks, Tree. Just having a little fun.
Well Gemma I have a confession I did not read Allan’s story first!!!! But then when I read your thriller I had to go and find the first part of the saga and then of course I read the link to Sue in your comments so off I went again spinning round the virtual world. What a fun challenge. And I love your doodles…
Thank you, pommepal. I’m glad you tracked it all down. That was fun (and a little hard for me). When I write I edit and edit again till I’m dizzy. Glad you like the Zentangle too. It keeps me encouraged. 🙂
I’ve just recently heard about zentangle, it sounds a fun thing to do.
I must give it a go…
Do! And post!